Bipolar

What do you get when you fall in love?

A guy (girl ) with a pin to burst your bubble! That’s what you get for all your trouble.

So will I fall in love again? Well I have wondered that many times, but like a moth to the flame, I cannot seem to resist the triumph of hope over experience. Why?

Well for the simple reason that nothing compares to being in love for a start. And secondly, whenever it’s failed for me, I cannot escape the conclusion that I take a big responsibility for what went wrong. In any relationship that has passion and real love, there are fireworks at times, but whereas most people light up like a sparkler for a few minutes, when I go off its like the 4th of July, only as they say in the US – it sure ain’t preddy!

But the unconfined joy that we experience when in love surely overwhelms the pragmatism you swore you’d stick to the last time it collapsed. Bipolar makes us seductive and a little wacky at times and that can be, and more often is, attractive. Then we slip into Dysthymia, and our charm vanishes quicker than a fart in a hurricane.

What I have learned is that you have to learn to love yourself and your condition, and then take your loved one(s) into your full confidence. Try to articulate how you feel at all times, no matter how tiresome, and never disguise your emotions, particularly the men here, since bravado and denial achieves nothing. If they don’t know what you have then you’ll be condemned as just a knob-head who loses it. For years I would do anything to avoid confronting what I knew to be the truth – and its cost me dear. You are only deluding yourself when you make out it’s everyone else who is to blame.

I’m sure Burt Bacharach wrote this after it had gone wrong for him. I imagine he wasn’t Bipolar, but he must have been hurting as the melancholy refrain oozes pain and frustration.  And it s become a 60’s melodic classic as it sings about something we’ve all been through and felt at times.

So the next time you fall in love- as you undoubtedly might – I hope your bubble stays intact! If the bubble is based on the truth about your Bipolar it just might float up and away and not burst on contact. Hope so!

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