Resident Evil- Is Bipolar really like that?

I have to say that sometimes it is. Sometimes the paranoia overwhelms you and evil thoughts and deeds wash through my head as I imagine what I will do or say to those who have ‘abused me’.  Maybe they did abuse me. And maybe not, but what I can admit it, is that when the mood takes me, I can concoct all manner of things in my head, each one of which seems as real as real can be. The lies my head creates assume the absolute truth within seconds of creation, and those feelings hang around like a fart in a hospital waiting room.

There are 168 hours in a week and maybe every 4th or 5th week, I’m not sure as I don’t keep score, I will lose the plot and sink into a huge hole, and begin the familiar descent into paranoia. But what is really sad is that, for only say 24 to 48 hours every 1000, I lose the place and damage my life and those of the one’s I love too. A measly 3 to 5% of the time, but that % can damage the remaining 95% – and then some – because when a relationship you care about plummets and ends, then that bloody 5% projects the disaster into the future too.

So it can feel as if you are possessed by evil at times. And when it does, you feel like an exorcism is the only thing that will cure it. But in reality, the difference in chemicals between me, people like me, and the ‘rest’ could be siphoned into a pipette and would take up no more than an eye-drop full. The difference is out of all proportion to the impact it has. But when I think of it that way, it brings out the fighter in me, and I think ‘the hell with it’ as John Wayne might have said.  I always like to put a humorous spin on things and that tiny ‘difference’ reminds me of the story of the man who went to the candy store and asked;

‘Could I have some Jelly Boys’

The shopkeeper says, ‘Don’t you mean Jelly Babies?’

The man replies ‘No I want Jelly Boys’

The shopkeeper answers, ‘Ok but there’s not (and he snaps his fingers) that much difference between a Jelly Boy and a Jelly Girl’

The man replies ‘Aah but there is (he snaps his fingers ) that much more Jelly.

So next time you thing you are possessed by resident evil, just think of the extra bit of Jelly!

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