Bipolar

Left a bit …ooooer…..right a bit….b******!

 

A pig of a week, relationship issues, wrestling with my stupid brain, a touch of the Farmers due to stress!!  ….aarrggh!

I was minded of those infernal games you used to get at Christmas, long before electronic stuff. They often popped out of the better class of Cracker! Then usually the worse for wear and laden with too much food you’d slump in your seat and become obsessed with that game with three tiny balls and three tiny holes, where you have to balance it all very carefully.

It’s so much like my life with Bipolar!! And like that game, I persevere and persevere, then without warning shout bastard!  and throw the bloody thing across the floor. With Bipolar that means being foul to someone you care for and undoing all the hard work you’d put into managing the condition.

I need relationships, as being Bipolar doesn’t mean you are not gregarious and sociable by nature, but it pops out like a cuckoo clock on heat that’s lost its sense of timing.

The hypermanic episodes can make some of us sexual predators, or at least sexually demanding, and my attitude at such times is not attractive. Here’s an appalling sexist joke – but hey I’m allowed! Says who? Says me!

What’s the difference between a turd and a woman? You don’t have to cuddle a turd after its been laid!

I know I know – how coarse I hear you say! But I’m that way out today! Belligerent and uncaring: couldn’t give a monkeys. Want to shock. Want to be disliked. Hate myself and hate the condition. No point in dressing it up eh?

Last night I had a few too many and went through the four classic stages of drunkenness

 

Jocose

 

Bellicose

 

Lachrymose

 

Comatose

Couldn’t face blogging and then realised you have to tell is exactly as it is! Do I feel better for it? No sirree! But I reckon some readers will line up and say ‘me too!’ and that will make me feel better.

I think!

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7 Responses to “Left a bit …ooooer…..right a bit….b******!”

  1. On May 13, 2013 at 11:14 am Bipolar Chimp responded with... #

    Don’t give a monkeys!!? one should always love a monkey. Yours offended. Jungle Isle of Wight

  2. On May 13, 2013 at 12:54 pm Bipolar chimp responded with... #

    Hi

    Yep, yer not alone indeed myself at the moment (because of those gits at the DWP) and being mega stressed, my wife has to put up with my out bursts of “Bastards” and Fuckers!” This can be in the local pet shop; or anywhere for that matter.

    So keep the faith, and all I can say is… “Bollocks!”

    Yours in sanity

    Pez

    • On May 14, 2013 at 8:42 am admin responded with... #

      And bollocks to you too Pez!! Good to hear from you. Keep adding stuff.

  3. On May 13, 2013 at 9:36 pm Roger Hawcroft responded with... #

    Kit,
    There’s nothing about you or what you say that would offend any other than those who need a good dose of non-conservative, all-inclusive, de-conventionalised and mores free, reality. (Not to mention, understanding, caring and compassiion – so I won’t mention them.)

    I don’t know whether I’m bipolar, tripolar, unipolar, multipolar, up the bloody pole or too “normal” for my own good and that of everyone around me but I identify strongly with the sentiments embodied in your words.

    Once again – thank you for sharing, caring, and wearing – who you are as a badge of intuition, clarity and with – which clearly refutes the nonsense of those who would call it “deficit”.

    More strength to your arm, your pen, and your ken.

    • On May 14, 2013 at 8:41 am admin responded with... #

      Thanks Roger. Up the pole! I Like it !

  4. On May 13, 2013 at 9:39 pm Roger Hawcroft responded with... #

    … sorry that penultimate sentence of mine should have read, “…clarity and wit…” *not* “clarity and *with*”

    r

  5. On May 23, 2013 at 9:24 pm carol smith responded with... #

    Oh, my God, Kit! You never cease to make me laugh because you are so damn funny. But I’m at work right now, talking and laughing to myself and these people know I have manic depression so either I’m scaring them or they’re just saying, “Oh, that’s just Carol. We just let her laugh and talk to herself.” Actually I’m responding to you out loud because I get lonely in my head and I’m at a different school now trying to fit in – no, not really. I’ve stopped trying to fit in because I haven’t ever fit in. Okay, I do admit to the shame and guilt of having this monster always luring called manic depression but sometimes we are so funny with this illness that people laugh. I had a friend that would schedule her parties around my schedule because I could make anybody laugh and I got very good at this and I found something marvelous out about this ability: As long as I kept them laughing, nobody bothered me so I could keep them at a distance because when I’m “performing” I am in such a manic state that one-on-one conversation is just damn dangerous for me. But keep on making me laugh because you are funny!

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