Bipolar Airways


I’ve just returned from a business trip, and I was reminded how few other activities are better than travel for exercising the Bipolar brain.

Or more particularly, how the vagaries of modern travel seem almost perfectly arranged to affect your Bipolar when in the Dysthymic phase – as I was last week.

In my book, I focussed on my inability (or ability dependent upon your point of view) to avoid picking up on every sniff made by my seat partner. Well this time is was a fidgeter! Tell me why is it that I can tell before I sit down that I’m going to have an issue with them? Is it me? Am super sensory? Who knows!  But it happens a lot. So is the world full of such types, but most people ignore them, or am I just a jerk magnet?  Far be it from me to disparage anyone, as I’m in a glasshouse, in that respect, but I just knew she’d drive me nuts as I approached my sea,t and caught her eye.

Have you ever wondered why it is when you sit alone on a bus and you hear a stupid drunk staggering up the stairs, you just know that despite there being loads of free seats, they are going to sit next to you?  Why is that? You sit there muttering ‘please God don’t let him sit next to me’ and yep, there you go, he does just that.

Then there are the delays – just perfect when you are low and fed up.

Then there are the customs queues or security checks – which one to use?

Bipolar for me is never brought more into sharp focus than the flight itself. When I’m ok, or in the Euphoric phase, I sit there crossing my fingers praying to be kept safe and get through it. And when I’m in the Dysthymic phase, I cross my fingers willing it to crash and end it all. I kid you not. I can’t think of any other lifetime activity that mirrors and reinforces my moods. So much so that I fear I could become agoraphobic. Oh what joy!

Perhaps there is a business opportunity here! Bipolar Airways!

There would be two types of aircraft on offer, dependent upon mood. If you are in the Euphoric phase you could opt for Hypomanic  Class, in which you can get drunk, debauch yourself with other like minded people, gamble, hurl abuse and generally lose the plot. Wow! Fantastic!

Then, if in the Dysthymic Class, you are herded brutally onto a shagged out old DC3, with no heating, no food, and with luck it will crash horribly and put you out of your misery.

Venture Capitalists please form an orderly queue!

Whatever you do – do not ‘Come fly with me’


No comments yet.

Add your response